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Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? is a fun and inspiring show about the process we're all stuck dealing with-AGING! Dr. Rosie Kuhn shares a perspective that will empower you to age gracefully + mindfully, and with a smile on your face. You will find yourself laughing, and relieved, as you find pieces of yourself revealed in every episode. Come laugh along with us!
Episodes
Friday Sep 27, 2019
Friday Sep 27, 2019
Every day is the Best Day Ever!
This is somewhat of a continuation of the previous podcast, Shifting the Paradigm of Aging.
We are at choice, every moment of our lives, to see the world we wish to see and to be in the world in the way we wish to be. It's simple to say but takes dedication to making it so.
Listen in to hear how you can make this important shift for yourself!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Sep 25, 2019
Wednesday Sep 25, 2019
Shifting the Paradigm of Aging
Did you know? The way we think about aging colors and expresses itself in the way we experience aging.
For example, if I see myself as a victim to aging, I will most likely not flourish in my later years of life.
However, if I see that I am always ME inside this aging body, then I know myself to be full potentiality 100% of the time, and therefore flourishing as I age will be a constant.
What do you think? Could this be true for you, too? Listen in!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Space - The Final Frontier of Aging
Space abounds in our lives. How we empower ourselves to choose to be with that space is a potent choice. It doesn’t really matter what you or I choose. Each of us are on our own human/spiritual journey and will make use of the space of our lives as we will. The intention for these podcasts is to perhaps inspire curiosity about yourself, your life, & the space of you being you!
As I’m sitting, preparing for this podcast - no title, no subject, no particular intention, I find myself in this space. Maybe there’s nothing to say, nothing to do. Maybe I’m done. And in this space I begin to conjure up all kinds of thoughts that have nothing to do with the intention of these podcasts. Thoughts of breakfast, walking Gracie, cleaning the pond filter, the weather outside, all flow out of some repository for mentalizations, and that space is no longer spacious.
I don't know about you, but I make myself wrong if I’m not actively participating in life mentally, physically, or emotionally. The truth is, space is a very healthy thing to have in one’s life. We just have to train ourselves to appreciate it rather than be afraid of it and want to desperately fill it up!
Space, for What?
Nothing to do, nowhere to go - it’s not apathy, boredom, or depression. It’s just space! What an adventure.
Francis - 87 years old, says, “I’m scared. I find myself not caring about all the things I used to care about. What’s life about if I don’t care about anything?”
Marvin - 93 years old, says, “I’m alive, but I don’t know the point of living. I’ve got so much space in my life and nothing to fill it with.”
That fact is, life is just space filled with whatever we choose to put into that space.
Mostly we fill it with thoughts - fantasies, imaginings, rationalizations, judgments.... We are always thinking stuff while we are doing whatever it is we are doing. As I’m writing this, my mind is spewing out thoughts of thoughts related to anything and everything. I have choose to focus on the task at hand and ignore 99% of the thoughts flying through my mind in order to get this podcast out!
The point is, sometimes there is just space - call it a pause, call it stillness, call it a moment of peace. Call it whatever you want. But notice that there isn’t anything wrong with you when there is this space. You are still here!
Some People Indulge This Space
So many people train themselves to allow this space in their lives. It’s called meditation practice. Others smoke marijuana to create that space. Others take medication to alleviate themselves from mental and emotional stress, and thus create some space. So here you are, having a moment of space without any catalysts.
As we age - especially when our bodies lose their capacity to be mobile, and we become more sedentary, we begin to fill the space of our lives with worry, which has the potential to turn into anxiousness, hopelessness, and depression. We experience the powerlessness of no longer being in control of our lives the way we once were. The whole experience of living life in these human forms become nonsensical. Again we arrive at the point of, “what’s the point?”
Aging like a guru allows us the perspective of allowing the space to be as it is - not filling it for the sake of avoiding the discomfort of space. Gurus know the space as it is, and, they choose to explore that space as it is. They’ve trained themselves to relax into the space, reveling in moments where the complexity of humanness falls away, and they are free to experience just being in space.
Being Who? Being What?
My personal experience with being in space is that at first I was terrified that I would disappear. If I stopped thinking for too long, then I’d lose myself and my identity. The question arose: “who am I without my thoughts?” That got me curious! A logical and intelligent question arose: “When I’m asleep, am I afraid I won’t return to myself? Of course not! So do I trust enough to explore this space consciously - not just through sleep?” And so my practice began - mindfully creating space where I habitually cluttered it with mindlessness.
I’m not a meditator. I don’t so much go seeking space as I do go allowing it to be when it arises. These days, I experience space more as a pause. I’ve come to appreciate the pause as a reminder: to remember who I am inside this human experience. The busy-ness in the world has little importance if it isn’t in service to experiencing fulfillment of our human-spirit, which for me includes moments of peace within the space of being.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Sep 20, 2019
Friday Sep 20, 2019
Who's Your Champion?
We all need champions in our lives - someone who believes in us 100%! It's rare that we have these champions, or we may have them but not feel like we have them. I'm sure my parents would say they championed me - supported me in being the fullest expression of myself, but that's not how it felt from my perspective.
As we age, we may have partners, children, caregivers, or community services that are potential champions. And most of all, we have ourselves to champion us along the way!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
Oh What Fun It is to Ride!
At 74 years of age, Marj declares "I'm an athlete! I'd never ever guess that would happen to me!"
The opportunities available to each of us - regardless of our age, are everywhere, always. You never know what will show up as a passion for you!
Listen in to hear about Marj's new ride!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Sep 16, 2019
Monday Sep 16, 2019
You are Here in No-Man’s Land
One of the greatest challenge for anyone immersed in their aging process is being with what is. What is may not feel normal - as in the way life used to feel; as in there doesn’t seem to be any particular trajectory of your life, in this moment. There aren’t any should’s or shouldn’t - rules which provide guilt and shame as boundary markers for your life in this moment. In fact, there appears to be nowhere to go and nothing to do.
In a coaching session, Melanie declares, “I’m bored! I’ve given up and let go of so much of the trauma-drama of my past, and this is what I get? Boredom? What the F*^#!”
Melanie rants a bit more that all of her efforts to extract herself from the life of abuse and neglect seem to have brought her to this place where nothing makes sense anymore. “I don’t know who I am, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Sometimes I feel more insane than ever before. Wasn’t I promised healing, serenity and wisdom if I took this spiritual path? I’m pissed!"
You are Here on the Path in No-Man’s Land
As a practitioner, it isn’t my job to make this process easy, unless pointing to the landmarks and road signs eases the process of being human, and specifically in regard to aging. Whereever you are - that’s where you are. And, my job is to assist you in seeing and experiencing that this is the very place you are meant to be - in this moment.
Whatever it is you are being with is what’s yours to be with. Melanie, who has been immersed in the patternings of trauma and drama, is now transitioning into someplace that is no longer riddled with triggers for flight, fright and freezing. This new environment feels weird, empty, and pointless - boring. It makes perfect sense that this is how it feels to her, since all she knew before this is scared, reactive, and highly triggered. So much of that is gone, which is a very good thing. Now, here she is, but she doesn’t know where she is, so it’s highly disconcerting. It feels like crazy-making; not at all what she expected.
Any addict will tell you that once they got sober from their drug of choice, their life felt empty and pointless. They yearned for the highs and lows of the life they had while using. I too know this place well. It’s like being in a waiting room with no magazines, no music, no entertainment gadgets - nothing. Just you being you with no distractions, other than of your own making.
Where’s That Promised Land?
Moses did indeed lead the people to the promised land; however, they wandered in the desert for 40 years. The promised land is a place that we imagine will give us everything we desire. Yet leaving the known world requires that we travel through unknown territory - no-man’s land. Neither here nor there. What we discover about being here, if we are willing to see it, is that it is its own fulfillment of what has been promised to us. We’ve arrived!
In the Bible, it says that God made the Israelites walk in the dessert for 40 years as punishment. But, maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a punishment. Maybe they could not receive the gifts of the promised land until they’d released and surrendered their attachments to their “stuff.” Whether Catholic, Jewish, Muslim - whatever or whoever you are - you, me, we all have stuff, and that stuff mainly includes entitlement and reward for the hard work and suffering one has gone through.
“Haven’t I suffered enough?” Says Ira, 20 years into the dessert. God says in response to Ira’s wailing, “Yes, of course you’ve suffered enough. You didn’t have to suffer at all. Just stop thinking the promised land is somewhere other than where you are, Ira. You’ve already arrived! Enjoy!!”
If, like Ira, and Melanie, we perceive where we are as not where we are supposed to be, then we will always experience lack, scarcity, and fear of not doing this right: “I must be wrong; I’m helpless, powerless, and pathetic!” Thus, the suffering in the desert for 40 years. Again, I know this place so well!
In A Course in Miracles, it says, “Lack implies that you would be better off in a state somehow different from the one you are in.” It takes courage and strength to see that in fact there is no lack in any one moment. There may be new experiences that are uncomfortable and disorienting, but that doesn’t make them wrong or bad - just different. Being with the differentness and seeing the beauty, awe and wonder that is present, because you’ve left behind your enslavement to trauma-drama, addictions, and whatever else kept you from knowing yourself as brilliant, radiant and light, well, it lets you see the paradise that is all about you always and everywhere.
Yes, it is a challenge to be liberated from old patterns, habits, and addictions. It is hard to be in something different without judging it or you as lacking. Yes, it musters up wisdom and discernment to know the difference. And yes, it’s important to get support and assistance from someone or a group that have gone through the desert, and found themselves before they reached that ‘promised land.’
This process of aging brings us ever closer to ourselves - if we are willing to be quiet long enough to arrive. To thine own self be true, is the promised land!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Sep 13, 2019
Friday Sep 13, 2019
Sometimes Aging Ain't So Pretty!
Glen has Parkinson’s Disease. He is 72, lives alone, and he fell the other day. He was needing to get to the bathroom - didn’t make it - messed his pants and laid there for hours before someone found him and called 911. He will probably end up having to live in a long-term care facility since he doesn’t have anyone who will care for him at home. He has no options! He is at the mercy of the healthcare and the social welfare systems.
Truth is, Glen isn’t taking care of himself. He’s depressed, bitter, and scared. He is resentful of the world so he chooses to “punish” the world by letting himself fall into this level of self-neglect.
There are a lot of people like Glen, who in one way or another neglect their own well-being. More than likely it is a life-long patterning of seeing oneself as violated, disempowered, victimized and at the mercy of the world.
What It's Like To Be Glen
Compassion is what I experience when I hear about Glen. Though I don’t suffer from any specific disease, I know what it’s like to live in bitter, depressed, resentment. It sucks! I know what it’s like to feel powerless, hopeless, and helpless. That sucks too. I know what it is like to have to choose to give up the belief that life will turn out the way I want, and to surrender my will. Yuck!!!
Truth is - from my perspective, Glen is at a point in his life where he has to give up his will and turn his life over to a healthcare system. One way or another, we will have to turn it over - voluntarily or not! We are at choice in so many ways; perhaps many more than we want to empower ourselves to be.
I for one want to do whatever I can to not end up in Glen’s shoes. I want to take the steps now to alleviate anything and everything that would contribute to the level of isolation and desperateness that afflicts so many people in the world who are in Glen’s type of situation.
As I've mentioned before, the intention of these podcasts, Aging Like a Guru - Who Me?, is to provide a perspective that says that each of us are at choice: to change what we can change, and also to come to accept what we cannot change. We are empowered always and everywhere to bring our life-force into it’s fullest radiant expression. Whether you want to believe it or not, we are at choice!
Perhaps you, too, feel that bitter, powerless, resentment. Perhaps you conceal it under any number of personas - humor, smart, disdain, to name a few. “I don’t give a rat’s-ass,” is a good one, too! I get it! I’ve lived there most of my life. It’s not pretty. It isn’t fun to be around, and I hated myself for it! And, I chose, and continue to choose, to do whatever I can to stop doing what doesn’t work. That includes adjusting my attitude.
It might be weird to consider, but, I hold as part of my truth, that like all of us, Glen is on a spiritual journey. His path has brought him here, to this moment, to this profound life experience. Within these desperate circumstances, Glen always has the power to choose how he will be going forward. As is the case for all of us, there are extraordinary opportunities for him to allow himself to know himself in peace, wholeness, and love.
I Don’t Want to End Up Like Glen
Glen is a reflection of each of us. As we age, we can choose, as I had done in the past, to live in desperateness. And, as we age, we can choose a different path. Be curious about which path you are choosing! The work of spiritual growth is a requirement. You can do it now, or you can do it later. You get to choose!
I love that we are always at choice of when and how. That’s the good news - even for Glen!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Sep 11, 2019
Wednesday Sep 11, 2019
Can You Know How Great You Are?
For most of us, the world we live in doesn't support us knowing how great we are. It doesn't support us being fearless, abundant and extraordinary. In fact, our consensus reality is fear-based, scarcity-based and shame-based. Jeesh!
If you are anything like me, allowing yourself to acknowledge what's true about you - all the good stuff and the bad stuff, is terrifying. However, if we aren't allowed to see all the ways we are great and doing really well, then we won't be able to see all the tools and skills we've developed and have access to in service to having the awesomest life possible.
I've been doing a particular exercise with myself that I’ve found really helpful. Before going to sleep I acknowledge myself for 10 things I'm happy about. For example: I acknowledge myself for cleaning the dishes before watching a movie; I watered my plants; I looked at my bank account to know that I have enough money. Easy - right?
The next part of the exercise is to acknowledge 10 things that I respect myself for. This is a little more challenging, but it is worth the effort. I found so far that I respect myself for the ways that I'm courageous - even when I'm scared. I respect myself for disciplining myself to do some amount of housecleaning, and I respect myself for stretching my comfort zone to do something that is uncomfortable. So far, I've revealed through this part of the exercise elements of my character that I hadn't been willing to see and appreciate before now.
The 3rd part of this exercise is even more difficult. I ask myself to acknowledge five things I honor myself for and five ways that I honor myself. Yikes! The truth is that it took me a long time to reveal even one thing in which I honor myself for, and no way that I actually honor myself. This was getting to be hard work. However, I knew if I continually ignored all the amazing shifts and changes that I've accomplished for myself - by myself, I wouldn't see that I have the capacity to grow myself into my fullest potential - my purest intent. So I needed to keep working on this - no matter what.
Thus, I thought about those people that I say I honor, and I thought about what I honored them for. I honor people for their respect of others, their generosity of spirit, and their willingness to be themselves and enjoy themselves. This was the start of seeing what I honor in myself too. And, then to see how I actually honor myself - what I do that is honoring - well, that came with intention and commitment.
I too deserved to be honored, appreciated and loved - by me!!! I know that having a clean, uncluttered home is one way that I honor myself; taking my supplements consistently is a way that I honor myself; making sure I paint and create every day is a way that I honor myself; being in nature and beauty is also a huge way that I honor myself, and finally, choosing a lifestyle that allows thriving to occur on all levels of my being - now that is truly honoring of me. That's a good list to start with, I think!!
So, I want you to be curious about how great you are. Let yourself talk about what a great day you had and what was fun and meaningful for you. Enjoy getting to know what a gift you are to yourself and the world. If nothing else, you'll bring a smile to your own face more often than you can imagine. That, in itself, is a very good thing!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Sep 09, 2019
Monday Sep 09, 2019
A Marriage that Grows Love
Jennifer and Mike are a couple with wisdom and courage. They've been together for over 11 years. They, like all couples, have their challenges. They, like few couples in their 50's, 60's and 70's, actually stay present and committed to their relationship with each other. This interview provides some of the ups and down of such a relationship.
As you are listening to this interview, you may feel as though you are listening to an infomercial. My intention in sharing so much about the work that Jennifer and Mike are up to is so that you can see that you have numerous options on how to be present and available in your partnership or marriage. I want you to have to opportunity to be curious about what it is you are a stand for in your partnerships, and then to empower yourself to move in that direction!
Jennifer Lehr, MFT is an author, Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder and creator of WeConcile®– an affordable online DIY relationship restoration program for couples.
Jennifer has written about relational health and wellness as well as healing and living our best lives for various print and online publications. She has written and presented for GoodTherapy.org, a CE course for therapists, Clinician Use of WeConcile® to Facilitate Couples Work. She is on the Medical Advisory Board for LoveWellness.com.
You can find out more about Jennifer at: www.jenniferlehrmft.com
Mike Bosworth has been a thought leader within the field of sales and marketing over the last several decades. He is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, story seeker and sales philosopher.
Mike and Jennifer live on Orcas Island, WA with their two dogs, where they thoroughly enjoy the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Sep 06, 2019
Friday Sep 06, 2019
Exercising Divine Will - What For?
What is Divine Will & What has it Got to Do with Aging?
I don't know about you, but my will is to have thing go my way according to my perceptions and interpretations of reality. However . . . that’s like allowing a 5-year-old to drive a car in downtown LA! Nobody wins!
Many of us are exposed to spiritual and religious principles throughout our lives, and most have similar principles, though their practices are different. Love one another - including yourself, do no harm, and serve God by serving mankind. Gratitude, forgiveness, faith, humility, acceptance, allowance, integrity, compassion. The Dalai Lama said, if nothing else, practice kindness.
Okay - so, bottom-line is: when I’m choosing to not exercise these principles, I’m most likely choosing to act by principles that I have deemed "higher principles" - thus acting according to my will and not Divine Will.
This encourages me to touch on the idea of Karma again, for choosing to act according to my will - deeming myself a higher authority then the Divine, again, is like a 5-year-old driving in downtown LA. It’s gonna stir up trouble, indeed.
Karma, in essence, is the practice of getting the 5-year-old out from behind the wheel and putting an expert in the driver’s seat. Not as easy as it seems - as many of you know already. In the end, nobody wins when we let a 5-year-old drive in LA!
Exercising and strengthening the muscles of allowing and acceptance are the first two biggies to get that 5-year-old out from behind the driver’s seat. It’s admitting the 5-year-old is powerless over knowing what to do in the midst of the calamities that surround her.
As a 5-year-old, I know, or have to learn to accept that there are grown ups with more experience than me who can restore my life to sanity. Yet I’ve known a lot of 5-year-olds who are not willing to give up control. They throw huge temper tantrums in order to stay in control. Actually, I know a lot of grown-ups who do the same thing!
The point of this conversation is that all of us throughout our lives have put the will of our childish-self ahead of wisdom and faith. We do that because we are afraid to trust that we are safe and supported. And, at many points in our lives, especially through the process of aging, we realize we just can’t do it alone - we just can’t do it. We have to surrender our will and turn to Divine Will.
The process of aging ongoingly puts us in life circumstances where we feel defeated, at a loss, and powerless. We can feel isolated, depressed and hopeless. Over and over again we are stretched to leap into faith and trust that something or someone is there for us in ways that are far better than how we are managing our lives on our own. This is big, hairy and scary work. And every human being on the planet is doing it!
Some people will say there is no evidence to support that this practice of living in Divine Will works. Actually millions of people around the world who practice 12-Step Programs for whatever addiction they are living with, will tell you that they are living proof that it works. Turning their will over to a Divine Will has restored their sanity, and it allows them the experience of being supported through all of life’s challenging circumstances.
By the way, exercising Divine Will doesn’t requires sacrifice of anything! It doesn’t require living a life of poverty, chastity and obedience. It doesn’t require giving up any of your dreams and desires. Exercising Divine Will only requires that you willingly choose to put a driver behind the wheel that has experience driving in circumstances beyond a 5-year-old’s capacity to make wise decisions. I'm willing to bet that your inner guru has their driver's license!! Beep beep!!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com