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Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? is a fun and inspiring show about the process we're all stuck dealing with-AGING! Dr. Rosie Kuhn shares a perspective that will empower you to age gracefully + mindfully, and with a smile on your face. You will find yourself laughing, and relieved, as you find pieces of yourself revealed in every episode. Come laugh along with us!
Episodes
Wednesday Sep 04, 2019
Wednesday Sep 04, 2019
All Habits Die Hard
My session with Holly yesterday brought up some important stuff in her life and in mine - and inadvertently perhaps, in yours! It's enough to say that, quite often, we habitually be and do things based on principles that aren't the ones we really want to live by! :o
Let me explain:
Last night I had a dream. I was a facilitator of a retreat. The participants were busy doing what is theirs to do. What was I doing while the participants are doing their thing? I was frustrated, impatient, and anxious.
When I woke up from this dream I felt frustrated, anxious, and impatient - as if I were still in the dream. I see myself being this and wonder, "What's that about?"
When I “analyze” the dream, I see that it’s not useful to the participants for me to be in this irritable state. It’s not useful to me either. I realize that these qualities of being are just a habit, and it is where I’ve spent the majority of my life’s energy. Even while on vacation I’m rarely experiencing serenity and peace. I realize that this is one of those moments where I must begin again to walk my talk: to be the peace I want to see in the world.
This morning, as part of my quiet time, exploring this dream and my habits of anxious, frustrated impatience, I was able to create a space beyond that habituated experience. I created a treehouse in my mind with a door in the floor. I crawled up through the door in the floor, gentle closed that door and gave myself a safe nest of solitude and serenity.
I had to be intent in focusing my attention on staying in my treehouse, and in this state of being serene and in peace. My mind wanted to attend to people, places, and things outside of the sanctuary I’d created for myself. I had to remind myself over and over again that I’m on Earth to bring myself to Wholeness. In so doing, I become a reference point for others to do the same.
I know this to be true: If I’m not living in what I know to be true, then how can I expect others (like my clients) to do it?
Today, I have no sessions booked with clients. It’s labor day weekend, and I can relax and enjoy some time doing what I love to do: paint, walk, take naps, . . . whatever I want!
And, I am sure that I will have to focus my attention on staying in a place where I don’t allow anxious, frustrated impatience to control me. If I don’t do it, it’s unlikely that you will do it. And if you won’t do it, it’s unlikely that people you know will do it. So life inevitably will stay the same, and I know, at least for me, that friction caused by my own impatience, frustration and anxiety will cause me far more harm than good. And it certainly doesn’t serve the people I love and play with.
Consciously choosing to be a reference point for others does take focused intent. What does your inner guru have to say about this?
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Sep 02, 2019
Monday Sep 02, 2019
What Can a Fishpond Teach Us?
I have a small fish pond with Koi and gold fish. The nine of them have been together for about four years. They've weathered some severe winters together and keep growing. I don't really know what I'm doing but something seems to be working, because they all seem to be thriving.
The other day, I noticed that Whitey wasn't being his usual self. He was hanging out with his nose pointed down and his tail pointed up. As I moved around a bit, he moved a bit and looked okay, aside from sitting strangely in the water. Later that day as I was observing Whitey, looking for any irregularities on his body or in his eyes, I saw one of the other Koi fish gently nudge Whitey to move.
At first I wondered if the other Koi, Kookoo, was irritated that Whitey was in his way, but it wasn't like that. It appeared to be an act of caring for Whitey. I watched this occur over the next couple of days by some of the other fish too - nudging Whitey a bit here and there.
I did some research about Whitey's condition. One of the suggestions was to put him in quarantine to ensure the other fish wouldn't catch something if it were contagious. I thought about this but then remembered how the nudges of the other fish in the pond seemed to support Whitey. I thought, if I remove him from the pond and his fish family, that might be more traumatic in the end. So, I decided to leave him in the big pond and let nature take its course.
This morning I woke up and went to tend to the fish as I typically do. To my delight Whitey seemed to be back to his normal self again. This made me so happy!
What's the Takeaway from Whitey?
We need community. If we become isolated from the world, which can happen in so many ways, we are rarely nudged out of our stupors, patterns and habits that may not allow us to thrive to the best of our ability.
Now, I've been a pretty reclusive individual, however, I'm nudged by all the connections I have with my clients, with the people I correspond with, and through my small group of friends here on the Island. Like Whitey, I'm glad to have these nudges to remind me that my aloneness doesn't mean I'm isolated. I've always got support! How about you?
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Aug 30, 2019
Friday Aug 30, 2019
Letting Go Requires No Sacrifice
Mike and Carol are in their 80’s. They realize that it’s time for them to downsize and find a home that is smaller with no stairs if possible. They’ve begun purging their home of what they know no longer fits in their lives. However, there is so much to consider that it all becomes overwhelming. I know people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s that can also be overwhelmed with this process of letting go.
Carol and Mike live in a four bedroom home with an office and studio space. Carol says, “We don’t know where we are going or how big our new home will be. I can’t let go of anything until I know what I’ll need to take to fill the new space.” With the knowing that Mike and Carol’s intention is to downsize to a two bedroom home, I gently nudged her, “Carol, since you’ll be downsizing to a two bedroom home, will you need all the bedding, towels and furniture for four bedrooms?” “Oh,” she says, "Just saying that helps a lot! I can let go of what’s in the two extra bedrooms - the dressers and the beds. I just have to choose to let go of what I no longer want.”
In this conversation, Carol and Mike were exploring possibilities of homes and the environment that they are open to. They plan on staying in the same town, they’d like to rent, but would consider a tiny home or trailer if they found the perfect fit. By the way, they’ve always found the perfect fit in the past - why would this be any different?
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The intention of this podcast is to share how much easier it is to let go of what no longer works for us when we focus on our truest intent. By staying true to the trajectory of our highest desire - our focused intent, we come to realize that there is no sacrifice in letting go of what no longer fits in this new manifestation of life.
This is a great spiritual principle: There is no sacrifice required to have what you truly desire. And it soooo goes against the views of our consensus reality.
Choosing to downsize, in service to a specific goal, requires that the intention or commitment to that specific goal is stronger than the attachment to “stuff.”
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Cranston, an artist friend in Florida told me recently, “I used to sell my paintings for thousands of dollars. Now, because I’m moving to Hawaii in a few months, I’m giving my paintings away. It feels insane, but I can’t take them with me. I’m okay with giving them away, it just feels a bit crazy!”
The craziness that Cranston is feeling is because, like Mike and Carol, he's dealing with the attachment to all the interpretations that are attached to his “stuff.” This is probably the most challenging aspect of letting go of what we no longer require, if we are to move on to the life we are intending for ourselves.
The meaning we make about stuff creates tendrils of emotional attachments that make letting go of anything even more difficult than is necessary. When Cranston remembers his intention to be in Hawaii with a simpler lifestyle, that becomes the most important thing, and his attachment to what used to be true about his paintings fades into less and less significance.
Regardless of a person’s age, each of us goes through numerous transitions in our lives. Whether it’s career, home, partnership, financial, we often face moments when we have to choose to shift what we make significant in our lives and what inevitably needs to become less significant. The process engages us in a letting go of not only physical stuff but emotional and mental stuff too. It isn’t unlikely that one will be pulled into deep emotional experiences, way beyond what they imagined would happen, and they intentionally move in the direction of their heart’s desire.
So, not only is there a purging of a house full of furniture, or paintings, it’s purging thoughts, feelings and body sensations all tied to how we perceive life and ourselves in this life. It’s big work!
Commonly, we underestimate all of what is occurring within us as we shift, change, grow, emerge or unfold into the life ahead of us. Rarely do we consider that even with great abundance and rewards comes emotional and cognitive release. We might find ourselves in need of naps, or times of going to bed earlier or getting up later. We might find ourselves feeling confused and uncertain about what we say we want. It isn’t uncommon for this purging process to pull up memories or beliefs that have been lingering behind curtains. All of this is just part of being an evolving human.
Regardless of our aging, our capacity to quiet our minds and attend to our bodies and our spirit will bring about an easier transition to where you’ve aligned yourself to be. Allowing yourself to let go of doing, and just be you in the midst of this moment, now, will allow you a sense of a greater capacity to enjoy life now, in this moment.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Aug 28, 2019
Wednesday Aug 28, 2019
You Don't Have to Be Smart - You Only Have to Be Quiet
One of the most challenging practice for most human beings is to be quiet with themselves, and to listen within the stillness for the wisdom of their inner guru. It’s even more challenging to be quiet when you’ve been stirred by someone or something, which leaves you feeling emotional, irritable and anxious. But, truly this is the very time required to slow down, quiet down, and be present to your wise-self.
Prayer, Meditation and Listening
I’ve heard it said that prayer is when you are talking with God, the Universe, Oneness, letting them know what it is you are wanting, what you are afraid of, and how you want support. Meditation is when you stop talking and be in a state of listening - tuning into your greater wisdom. I like this description!
My experience is that when I’m more tuned into my emotions, my irritability, my anxiousness, I’m ignoring the words of wisdom that constantly flow to me and within me, especially when I need them most.
Last night was a perfect example.
I’d received an invitation to do a workshop in California on Aging Like a Guru. I love facilitating workshops, retreats and trainings, so this initially made me very excited. Then, I experienced an interesting sensation. I felt my heels digging in, and the rise of resistance. Rather than answering the invitation immediately with a “hell no, I won’t go,” which is what this part of me was communicating to me, I said to myself, “Okay, I’ve got some wisdom that I need to pay attention to. Just quiet down, relax, and just be with what is.”
This morning I sat in quiet and listened to all aspects of myself and revealed my fear of losing freedoms to express my creativity and passion. If I take the opportunities to travel, do workshops and retreats, I’m afraid I won’t have the time to paint. However if I stay home to paint, I’m afraid I will lose the opportunity to express myself through the part of me that loves to facilitate and connect with people. It’s a dilemma.
Making the time to be quiet and listen to my inner guru allows me to understand the anxiousness of potential change ahead of me. My reactions come from a part of me that believes I have to give something up to have something else. When I sit in my wisdom, I see how I can actually have everything I want, just the way I want it.
I suspect that you are also challenged by these moments when emotional reactions want to dictate your next move. I encourage you to empower yourself to maybe slow down a bit and listen for the wisdom that you know is there for you.
It's quite a big challenge, especially when you are feeling emotional and reactive + powerless to truly influence your circumstances. But if you can find that stillness, you will find your truth from the wisdom and intelligence of your own inner guru. And that my friends is what it's all about!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Aug 26, 2019
Monday Aug 26, 2019
Karma? What's That Got to Do with Aging?
If you want to age like a guru, then the Law of Karma is going to be good to keep in mind. Why, you might ask? It promotes mindfulness of our intentions. It encourages accountability for what we do, what we say, and what we think. It empowers us to look at how we choose to choose what we choose. Yep, you read that right.
Case in Point: People not showing up!
Alvin is suppose to show up to do some work on the roof of my shed. He isn’t showing up when he says he would. I’m upset. My response is anger, frustration, manipulation. Initially, I’m making him responsible for my upsetness and I want to do something so he will get the message that he’s breaking a promise. I say things like - “Man, Karma is going to bite him in the butt!” Or, “No wonder his life is so hard, he keeps racking up bad karma!” That makes me feel better - sort of.
However, since my intention is to walk my talk in terms of aging like a guru, I decided that rather than attempting to make him accountable for his actions, and justifying my negative responses, this is an opportunity for me to be accountable for how I’m being with this situation with Alvin.
I can hear people say “yes but, he should....” Yes, perhaps he should, but he’s not. And, the truth is that Alvin is in charge of his own accounting of how he lives his life. I can only be in charge of mine.
Any time we point the finger at someone else - expecting them to do the right thing, Karma encourages each of us to be accountable for being mindful of our intentions in pointing the finger, making other people wrong, or for that matter, making ourselves wrong, when truly we're all being the best we can be, given the conditions within which we’ve been living.
When I ask, “What is my intention in making Alvin wrong or bad or evil?” I have an opportunity to see how I’m attempting to feel righteous, powerful, or invulnerable to judgment and attack. When I ask, “What is my intention in trying to get something from Alving that he isn’t open to giving?” I can see that I’m attempting to manipulate him and the situation so that I get what I want no matter what.
Alvin has been a great teacher because over and over again he makes a promise, and over and over again I trust that he will follow through. And, over and over again, he doesn’t show up. He isn’t the first person to attempt to teach me what I need to learn, aka what I need to be accountable for in my own life.
This pattern shows up over and over again. I thought I’d mastered the learning, but, when the teacher keeps showing up, I have to wake up and attend to what’s really happening. Rarely is the learning related to the specifics of the situation. It’s usually a much bigger principle of Life that is needing to be realized.
Now, I practice the intention of living in the spiritual principle that there is Divine Timing and Divine Order to everything. Living into these principles requires that I practice surrendering my will, that I see Alvin in the best light possible, and that I enjoy the beauty that is already present in my life. I am at choice. This is a practice that continually stretches me beyond my comfort zone. It is sooo much easier to just think bad thoughts about Alvin.
But I’m accountable for my choices. I can choose to hire someone else if I want, though not from retaliation, but because I’m ready to have the work complete. There is peace in that. There is serenity in that. There is kindness for all in that.
When I think about the Law of Karma regarding aging, I see that the work isn’t to be a good person, only thinking good thoughts, and doing good actions. It’s being mindful of something bigger - it’s being mindful of the intentions underlying my thoughts, and actions. It’s attending to my highest truths and practicing right living from there.
The advantage of this process of aging is that we continue to have opportunities to figure this stuff out and to experience the fulfillment of actually living life in alignment with our truest knowing. How fun is that?! I'll tell ya: VERY!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Thursday Aug 22, 2019
Thursday Aug 22, 2019
So, You Think You Are Losing Your Marbles, eh?
Sliding into dementia, senility, Alzheimer's - call it what you will, is one of those fears that rates high on most people’s lists of Aging Worries. It's part of the fear of losing independence. People even in their 30's are worrying about dementia and losing their mental faculties.
So what exactly is dementia? In a nutshell, it includes memory loss, disorientation, confusion and the decline in thinking and memory skills that may interfere with a person's normal daily activities and social relationships.
An interesting fact - only 1 in 10 people 65 and older have Alzheimer’s disease. This means that 90% of that population don't have Alzheimer's. For people 85 and older - the number rises to about 32%. That still means that of this population, 68% of the people won't have it!
So, to me, this means that the need to worry about Alzheimers doesn't have to take up so much of our brain activity. Paying attention is good, but the worry - not so good!
Fun Facts:
A lot of issues that are affecting our cognitive functioning can be caused by things completely unrelated to the dreaded Alzheimer's Disease. Here is a list of possible causes of reversible memory loss:
*Medications for Anxiety, Depression, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Pain, Seizures, Trouble Sleeping
*Minor Head Trauma or injury
*Emotional disorders
*Alcoholism
*Vitamin B-12 deficiency
*Dehydration
Magnesium deficiency
*Thyroid problems
*Urinary Track Infection
*Emotional and physical trauma
*"Foods" We Eat: Sugar, Refined Grains
*Toxins in our foods, air and water
*Tumors
If you are worried, see your health practitioner, get some tests run, and take the steps to get clear of what's causing your symptoms.
Remember that you can make choices that will bring about healthier results for you and your brain. And in doing so you can then relax in knowing you are healthy!
Isn't it good to know that worry and stress are *huge* contributors to how healthy our brain is and how well it works? That means we have some personal power in this equation!
So, how about this: worry less (yes-choose to worry less!), decrease those avenues in your life that contribute to stress (or hire a coach to help you do it), think positive thoughts, and, begin or continue to meditate. (Meditation is now proven to grow the grey matter of our brains. Winning!)
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Aug 21, 2019
Wednesday Aug 21, 2019
No Matter What Age, Life Is Hard - Oh No!
It isn't uncommon, regardless of age, to hear people exclaim, "But it's too hard!"
We don't like life to be hard. We avoid life circumstances when they are hard, unless those circumstance feed our soul and nourish our spirit, but even then we have to be in the mood for it.
Most of our lives are spent attempting to be invulnerable from risk. When life gets hard we risk feeling vulnerable. We feel exposed, incompetent. We think that we should know how to do every aspect of life perfectly. But the truth is, we can't know something we've never experienced before! We can't know how to do something well without putting ourselves through dedicated practice. To learn anything requires intention, dedication, and a willingness to be not good at something until you get good at something.
George Leonard wrote a very short book a long time ago called Mastery. I read that book numerous times because it allowed me to see that, whatever level of mastery you are at, you will still be challenged to master another level. Life, in fact, is a never ending process of learning to be a master of being you.
Aging like a guru means willingly allowing yourself to be vulnerable to yourself as you learn how to learn how to be you. Yep, that's not a typo! You have to learn how to learn to be you. That's hard work! ;-)
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Aug 19, 2019
Monday Aug 19, 2019
Allow Play - Just for Fun
The thing is, the longer you stay on the planet the greater degree is the possibility that you will experience stuff that grows you in ways you cannot anticipate. And, most importantly, be glad you stuck around long enough to have that experience.
I just finished facilitating the “Loving Yourself Into Creation” retreat with my dear friend Margaret Lindsey. Margaret specializes in Conscious Creativity. Her specialization and mine meld beautifully in creating a space for participants to be present to themselves in ways they cannot anticipate. Opportunities to play, play, play with paint, words, talk, and listening to oneself allowed each person to come to choose to participate in their life when they didn’t even know they had a choice.
A retreat such as Loving Yourself into Creation is kind of a mini-course in Life 101.
As children, we play and we learn through playing. It requires imagination, creation, problem solving, disappointment, frustration, sadness, and we either learn to hang in there for the juicy good stuff, or we develop an attitude of 'not good enough' and failure.
If we are lucky enough we have people in our lives who listen to us when we talk about our thoughts, our feelings, our wants and our needs. They help us to make sense of our experiences and our interpretations about those experiences. They help us see that maybe what we’ve been playing at, or who we’ve been playing with, just isn’t right for us. They encourage us to find our real true desires - what’s really fun for us, and go for it, no matter what.
Play is hard work and is so important to all of us regardless of whether we are young or old. In fact, the participants in this retreat were all in their 70’s. Each in their own way discovered that how they’ve been playing in their lives hadn’t yet allowed them to live the juiciness of life. They became conscious of how they were limiting the possibility for greater fulfillment and delight. How awesome is that!
For me, I became aware of the interpretations I have about what happens when we age. I recognized the belief I held - unbeknownst to me, that ‘people get depressed as they age. That as life changes and they aren’t who they thought they were decades ago, that their lives become full of sorrow and hopelessness. Slowly they decline into decrepitude.’
I’m learning so much about aging as I immerse myself in the presence of aging people. I get to see how wrong I am about so many things, and I’m so very glad about that!
In play, as in life, we are always making adjustments to the story, in the how’s and the when’s of the unfolding imaginations that are occurring. Many of my imaginations about aging are still stuck in that old paradigm: “Life sucks and then you die.” As I continually play with people who are playing the game of being old, I get to see that we get to make it all up - even now. I get to see that we can have all the fun we are willing to have up to and through our transitions to what’s next! It’s hard work for us grownups, as hard as it was when we were children.
A retreat is just a playground for grownups. Even as a facilitator I get to play, imagine, & grow, joyously following where my heart desires to go. This is the way I believe all life should be for all of us guru-children: playful learning led by our hearts and witnessed and embraced by loving beings.
The point of this podcast is not to sell you on a retreat, but to perhaps discover ways to create a "retreat" for you, where you can play hard at what you love to do, and be present to all the various you’s who show up with you on your retreat. Allow play!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Aug 16, 2019
Friday Aug 16, 2019
The Aging Goddess - An Interview with Susie Verde
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Aug 14, 2019
Wednesday Aug 14, 2019
Aging Parent Aging Children
The relationship you have with your aging parents may not be any different than it was decades ago. There are a lot of assumptions and expectation hidden in any relationship, especially when it come to aging, but more often between parents and their children, who may be clueless about what's going to happen when their parents age.
Sorting all of this out sometimes takes the courage to ask difficult questions and to begin difficult discussions. Otherwise there is a burden of silence that will greatly influence the tapestry of the life of both parent and child.
Being a grown-up to an aging person is big work - it's not for sissies! Sometimes one is thrown into the maelstrom of challenges they haven't been privy to, even though a parent is having serious challenges that need attention.
Listen in!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com