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Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? is a fun and inspiring show about the process we're all stuck dealing with-AGING! Dr. Rosie Kuhn shares a perspective that will empower you to age gracefully + mindfully, and with a smile on your face. You will find yourself laughing, and relieved, as you find pieces of yourself revealed in every episode. Come laugh along with us!
Episodes
Monday Aug 12, 2019
Monday Aug 12, 2019
What Am I Afraid People Will Decide About Me?
Regardless of our age, each of us have some core fear about what people will find out or decide about us. And, because we don't want to be found out, we develop strategies so as to hide, pretend, or act the way we want people to see us.
We do this dance of "be afraid and strategize" probably 92% of every day. That leftover 8% is the time within which we may experience freedom, playfulness, relaxation and contentment.
Here' the scoop: Unless we become conscious of this process, our later years of life can be even more worry and less contentment. Yikes!
In this podcast I share my experience with this dilemma in choosing how I want to spend my precious time on Earth.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Aug 09, 2019
Friday Aug 09, 2019
Depression is So Depressing
While scrolling through posts on my Facebook page the other day, I came across a photo of some my friends that was taken a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t seen them for about seven years but each of them in this photo was hardly recognizable to me. Most of them are in their 60’s. Each had gained at least 20lbs, and each appeared to have lost that vibrancy that made them unique and attractive.
My instant response was deep sadness, as though these people were gone, died, left the planet. Now, I experience a sense of anguish inside, a pain, a loss, a hopelessness and powerlessness, that these beautiful beings are a tiny fraction of our humanity that have appeared to have capitulated their will, but to what? It is as if they have given up and quit trying. The photo could be titled, “This is What Quitting Looks Like.”
This momentary experience has had a deep impact on me. First of all, I can see how I’m headed in the same direction, letting go of caring about myself and my body. Second, I questioned, for myself and for all of us, what is it that allows for this “decline” to occur? Now this is all projection, mind you, but it makes sense to me that something is happening, and I want to know what that is. Inquiring minds want to know!!
Is it Mandatory for Us to Become Rolly-Polly?
I saw a photo of a guy when he was 17. He was thin, strong and loved playing guitar. Today, at the age of 71, he can hardly get out of his chair. His belly is huge and he doesn’t seem to have much to be excited about. This fellow, and those I mentioned above, stir me up - not with judgment, but again with deep sadness.
My context - the way I interpret life, says that each of us has the responsibility and capacity to care for our bodies, our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. When we get sick, it’s an indication that we our not in alignment with this principle. We are not walking our talk, maybe we aren’t even talking our talk. And, truth is, my context of well-being isn’t the same as the majority of individuals, especially in the U.S.
I Think We Get Depressed
I don’t like using the term ‘depressed’; mostly because depression more often than not is a mixed-up package of grief, powerlessness, and hopelessness. It isn’t terminal, it’s rarely a mental disorder, and it is absolutely resolvable - not necessarily with medication, but with presence of mind to the presence of realness of human existence.
Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes our dreams don’t come true. Sometimes our hopes are taken away from us. And, given any one of these scenarios, we feel vulnerable enough without having to feel the despair, despondency, disillusionment of who we hoped we would be. More often than not we say: “I’m depressed, so just give me the pill that will make all of that go away.” Or, “Give me a beer.” “Give me some cake!” "Give me some sex!” “Just give me something so I don’t have to feel me!”
The process of aging for most of us emphasizes the enormity of our ignored-pain. Our bodies begin to create symptoms of our depressed-oppressed-suppressed emotions. Those symptoms turn into heart-disease, liver-disease, cancers and what-not. We go to doctors for treatments of our bodies, while we deny the cause of the symptoms in the first place - the stress of being human - and the choices made to ignore, distract and deny “the ME and my existence” within our bodies.
It’s Simple but Not Easy
People who cure themselves of disease do so by focusing not only on their bodies, but also on their whole-being. They understand that it requires a commitment to being present to all of who they are. They return to their heart’s desire, being creative and playful. They become active again in the ways that delight the young child within. And, even just that shift cures what ails them. It’s very cool!
My very good friends in their mid-70’s got themselves some e-bikes, and they each got one of those smart watches that inform them of how active they’ve been during their days. Over the past few weeks I’ve delighted in the degree to which they have enlivened their lives with riding their bikes, going for picnics, smiling and enjoying themselves in ways that seemed well behind them. They changed their attitudes. They are more spontaneous, and they are having fun together as a couple. They inspire me to be mindful of when I want to settle for complacency, when I want to give up on myself, when I want to ruminate in the powerless-hopeless truth that my life isn’t going to be extraordinary without me participating. I’m not about to get an e-bike or a smart watch, but I’ll be changing my attitude and choosing more mindfully of how I want to, and will be, living an extraordinary life.
I truly believe not only that life is supposed to be fun, but that life is fun. Now, to choose to make it so is totally up to me!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Aug 07, 2019
Wednesday Aug 07, 2019
Being the Expression of Our Essential Self
Our egos love conflict; in essence, that is all it knows. It fights for survival; again, that is all it knows.
The intention of these podcasts is to empower you to empower yourself to be more at choice as to who you listen to in your head.
The part that says, "You shouldn't want that, you shouldn't like that, you shouldn't feel that way, you shouldn't think that way," counters every natural and authentic idea you have that is true for you.
Did You Know?
Every one of us has the capacity to empower ourselves to experience disempowerment + victimization, as well as the capacity to experience empowerment + living in the choice of, "To thine own self be true."
Aging like a guru requires cultivating awareness to thoughts that ongoingly tell us we are wrong for what we want, desire, think and feel.
It requires that we be curious about, discover, and own the truth that we know exists for us.
We are always at choice to empower ourselves to live into our essential knowing. It is very exciting and fun to choose to listen to who we truly are, rather than listening to what consensus reality wants us to be. That, perhaps, is one of the greatest gifts of aging.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Aug 05, 2019
Monday Aug 05, 2019
Fear of Dying Makes Us Afraid of Living
Death is one of the most influential concepts that seeps into how we live life.
Death is a transition, much like the many transitions we experience throughout our lifetimes. When we look back, we can see all the times we've died - or at least our identity has died - and our attachments to what was got annihilated, by controllable and uncontrollable circumstances alike.
Yet we have the incredible ability as humans to grow our capacity to transition gracefully through whatever Life throws at us. Including death. But for that to be possible, we have to be willing to notice, observe, and awaken to all the incredibleness of who we are inside these bodies.
Listen to this episode and be curious about how you do life, and you will invariably grow your capacity to die with grace when that is what Life brings you.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Aug 02, 2019
Friday Aug 02, 2019
I'm Not Afraid of Aging; I'm Not Afraid of Dying
Part of aging like a guru is letting go of being afraid of aging, and letting go of the fear of dying. There is no aging of our Spirit. There is no death of our Spirit. Listen in to hear more!
ACISTE - www.aciste.org
Books:
Testimony of Light by Helen Greaves
Thy Son Liveth by Grace Duffie Boylan
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
How Do I Choose to Choose What I Choose?
We are constantly choosing what we choose. Did you know that?!
Sometimes consciously, other times unconsciously-but we are always choosing!
Most often, however, we tend to focus on what to choose and rarely focus on how we choose to choose what we choose.
This podcast explores how each of us live in a process of choosing that gives us the results that are in front of us, which are not necessarily the results we'd like to have in front of us.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Jul 29, 2019
Monday Jul 29, 2019
What Would You Do If You Knew You Could't Fail? Age!
A long time ago, this question was popping up in self-empowerment materials: “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” One particular day, I closed my eyes and felt into the question, “What would I do?” The answer came swiftly - not from my thinking mind but out of the depths of my being: “I would sail around the world by myself!”
I was shocked with this answer, because, even though I sailed across the Atlantic in my 40’s, with my boyfriend who had a very large and beautiful sailboat, and at that point in life anticipated sailing around the world because it was what we were going to do together, it rarely entered my mind to do that under my own volition, by myself, no less! But, the point of the question wasn’t necessarily to do something that you couldn’t fail at; the point was to tap into that place within that is fearless, and where failure is impossible.
Today, as I was preparing for this podcast, I was imagining the various things people say they want to do, once they are retired. Travel seems to be a big dream for most people. Personally, I rarely imagine myself traveling because I hate all the details required for traveling. I hate all of the choices I have to make and all the possible parts of the journey that could go wrong. But, today as I imagined myself retired, I experienced myself on the ocean, peaceful and content, not hating anything. This time, I was on a cruise ship. This time, I had all the comforts of home while still seeing the world. This time, feeling safe. Instead of years, I would do it in six months - that felt right! I went so far as to google cruise ship companies that provide such possibilities. That’s a big deal for me. My life on Orcas is simple and I like it that way. To consider such an adventure made me smile. Now I have something on my bucket list!
This little romp of imagination delighted me. And, I find it fascinating that it mirrors a previous notion to sail around the world.
I Can’t Fail at Aging
I used to be afraid of everything. I used to say no to so much of life because I was afraid of all the things that could go wrong. And, because I was someone who was highly shame-based, any thing that could go wrong I would take as a failing on my part. It’s one of the reasons I gave up sailing - too many responsibilities, and too many potential opportunities for things to go wrong. It was best to let go of ‘continually imposed upon me’ opportunities to feel bad about being me.
The cool thing is, the longer I’m on Earth, the more opportunities I’ve been given to let go of my fears of being me. What a gift! I believe it’s the gift each of us is given - to freely engage in knowing ourselves fearlessly - even if it’s just through our imaginations.
Aging, like cruising around the world, is an adventure - failing is not possible. It’s not possible because an adventure is full of twists and turns that bring the unpredictable as well as the predictable. Each one of us is on our unique human adventure through this process of aging. If we look through the lens of how we will fail while on this adventure, well, we might as well end it all right now! And, that’s what some of us try to do. But in truth, we can’t not be in this adventure of life and aging until the moment of death.
The Wisdom of No Escape
While sailing across the Atlantic, there were many times in those three weeks that I wanted the boat to pull up to some dock so that I could get off! I was scared, though there wasn’t any real danger imposed on me. I just didn’t want to be in that circumstance any longer. However, the wisdom of no escape allowed me to discover who I was within that situation. If I could have escaped, I would have missed exquisite moments being with the boat, with the beauty of the ocean and sky, with the people who shared this time with me. But mostly, I would have missed the opportunity to be me with me. I would have missed the opportunity to learn ways of being me with all my fears, frustration, and anxieties. I would have missed opportunities to train myself to be with difficult and sometimes life threatening situations. I learned how to be with those moments when there was nothing to do, nowhere to go; where depression and boredom could take over if I let them. Sounds like aging, doesn’t it?
My deepest intent for sharing my thoughts through these podcasts is to offer you a frame or a lens through which to see yourself while you are on the adventure of your life. You have an enormous capacity to live it fearlessly - no failure required. The adventures of each day provide you with moments where you choose to feel the fear and then retreat to safety, or you choose to feel the fear and then dare yourself to consider doing it anyway. Even imagining yourself doing it differently brings you into a different experience with yourself. How awesome is that!
“A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.” — John A. Shedd
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Friday Jul 26, 2019
Friday Jul 26, 2019
The Courage to Change the Things You Can
Through my group at the Senior Center here on Orcas, it has come to my attention that most individuals are aging with an addiction to thought patterns that actually create isolation, loneliness, hopelessness and dis-ease. This is no different than those of us who become addicted to substances and behaviors that create isolation, loneliness and hopelessness.
In all cases there is a fear of abandonment or rejection if one were to share their authentic experience of being human and going through this sometime insane experience of existence. So we learn to be secretive, to deny our true thoughts and feelings and continually use substances, behaviors and thought patterns that, if only for moments at a time, alleviate suffering.
My client Pam is 68. She goes to doctors and medical appointments 2-4 times a week. And most of what she wants to talk about is her physical symptoms and how no one seems to know what to do to fix or heal these symptoms. On the inside Pam feels helpless, hopeless and powerless; however, rather than allowing herself the truth of what she is experiencing and being with the discomfort of these feelings, she thinks and talks about her physical circumstances and goes to medical visits - even though none of that is truly empowering her to be well.
The symptoms of decline that we experience as we age are generally considered "normal" due to aging. It’s part of the paradigm of a system that is sickness-conscious, not health-conscious. Our whole “healthcare” system is dedicated to keeping people focused on what’s wrong, what’s not working, and that out there somewhere is the magic bullet, the magic pill that will bring about a miraculous cure.
Dr. Kelly A. Turner wrote a book called Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds (2014). In it she shares the findings of her research of thousands of individuals who’ve experienced what we think of as spontaneous healings or miraculous cures of cancer. Though these individuals used many different healing modalities, there were nine key factors that every single person included in their treatment plan. They are:
- Taking control of their health
- Following their intuition
- Using herbs and supplements
- Releasing suppressed emotions
- Increasing positive emotions
- Radically changing their diet
- Embracing social support
- Deepening their spiritual connecting
- Having strong reasons for living
Only two of these key factors are related to food, medicine, and supplements. The other seven key factors relate to empowering oneself to engage differently with themselves and their world, and to make choices that will alter their levels of self-respect, self-trust and self-control.
Instead of feeling disempowered by a disease and unquestioningly turning our power over to medical practitioners who have a very narrow view of what heals the body, we each have the capacity to empower ourselves to change the way we see ourselves and the world, as well as the way we engage with ourselves and the world. This is key to creating a life of well-being, regardless of our age and our physical conditions.
I believe that what Dr. Turner reveals about radical remissions of cancer are necessary factors of symptoms of any dis-ease, and aging itself. Further, the negative thoughts and fears around aging creates dis-ease, which inevitably creates decline, perhaps sooner than is required.
Scientific research has shown over and over again that increasing positive emotions and increasing positive thoughts does create healing and well-being in our bodies. So why is this not part of every treatment plan for every person working with their health practitioners?
We may not be able to answer that question, however, that doesn’t stop us from creating a self-healing practice of our own utilizing these nine key factors that Dr. Turner speaks about so clearly.
To age like a guru we need to attend to every aspect of our being - not just the physical being. We have access to tons of information that supports the utilization of these factors, so to access that information is easy. To empower ourselves to practice these factors is totally up to us. We each have the capacity to make choices that will bring about well-being. And as always, I encourage you to just get curious about what you are willing to shift or change in order to have the life you want as you age and change. It’s all up to you! How great is that?
"Have a Great Day, Unless You've Made Other Plans!" (an AA Slogan)
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
Death by Aging: Failing to Thrive
You are the culmination of all incarnations of life on Earth. You are the pinnacle of evolution of your ancestors. You are the highest evolution of all of your incarnations.
What’s that like inside of you as you take that in?
For me, when I read this for the first time, I thought “Oh no! I’m Doomed!” Then, I took a breath and began to sink into the goodness of this truth.
You carry in your DNA the traumas of your ancestors. That’s why many of us are triggered easily by even the thought of violence, rejection, or betrayal. Our circumstances today for most of us in first world countries have so little life-threatening implications, yet we live in fear of the potential horrors that have devastated our ancestors in the past.
For thousands of children in orphanages, death occurred and still occurs because they were not held. On their death certificates it says, “Failed to Thrive.” My experience is that many of us carry within us this experience of being left and minimally cared for, until the despair was too much.
I think that death by aging happens more because of this experience of not being held. Isolation, feeling forgotten and insignificant, depletes one’s connection to what is around them. Losing hope and meaning, it’s easy to become despondent, and the point of living becomes irrelevant to just disappearing into the ethers.
Suicide rates have increased by more than 30 percent in the past 20 years. More men then women commit suicide, and interestingly, elderly people tend to be more successful in carrying out their attempts.
Much like orphanages for children, long-term care facilities, for some, become an environment where there is nothing to live for. Any environment a person finds themselves in that cannot nourish the human spirit, will bring about depression and a failure to thrive.
Research has shown, over and over again, that one’s inner environment is the one that truly matters. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl shares the importance that hope and meaning played in the lives of many who survived the Holocaust. To live is to suffer. To survive, one needs to find meaning in the living and suffering.
This is big work for all of us as we lose so many of the freedoms that we thought youth gave us.
As I’m inspired by the various aspects of aging that arise, I realize more and more the importance of this internal environment - where our inner guru resides. To nourish the relationship with our inner guru - our own true self - we need to train ourselves to create meaning that fills our days with delight. The greater degree of truth and meaning that we have access to, the greater our capacity to experience joy in life, regardless of our circumstances and environment. This takes discipline to train ourselves to let go of our ancestral patterns and grow our capacity to know the beauty, love, and harmony that is here in the present moment. It takes training. Lots and lots of training!
As infants, we didn’t have the capacity to nourish ourselves or to create comfort for ourselves. As we age, we do have that capacity - we just have to nurture that capacity so that we experience fulfillment through the end of this incarnation. It is absolutely worth the effort!!!
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
Monday Jul 22, 2019
Monday Jul 22, 2019
Be the Legacy You Wish to Leave Behind
The topic of Legacies is a big one as part of the aging process. What will you leave behind for your family, community or the world at large? Wills, trusts, foundations, charities all are in line for your financial treasure.
We all want to be remembered after we're gone. Personally, because I have children and a grandson, I want to leave a legacy for them. What will it be?
Initially, I decided that I want to leave them a connection with nature, because for me that’s one of the most important relationships we have on Earth: our connection to Earth herself. But Nature may not have the same sense of importance to them as it does to me.
After meditating more on my personal legacy, it has become apparent to me that the legacy of love and kindness are really the most important gifts to leave behind.
Think about it: so many people come to coaching because they feel unfulfilled. Through coaching they hope to figure out their life purpose: the legacy they wish to leave behind when they die. “I want to do something that will leave the world better than when I got here," some say. They think it’s something they have to do - some service or product they will create in order to leave their mark on the world.
The kind of life coaching I do empowers people to untether themselves from their interpretations about themselves and the world, in order to empower themselves to see what is theirs to do. Most of us have a huge amount of resistance to seeing that the way we see ourselves and the world is the foundation of what is possible in regards to the fulfillment of their human-spirit. Their resistance slows them down, and, too often, they are frustrated because it takes longer than they thought.
In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Polonius says, “To thine own self be true.” To strip away anything that is not self will reveal not only who we are, but also enable the experience of serenity and peace with who we are. We experience peace with everyone else too.
That's a pretty valuable legacy to leave behind, don't you think?
Whether through spiritual practices, work, therapy, coaching, life lessons in general, if we willingly reveal who we are, then we have less investment in how others will see us. We are less concerned with being vulnerable to attack or rejection and just be who we are. We stop thinking about who we want to be and how we want to be and instead focus on who we are in this moment. We discover a place within where peace resides.
Passing this on can only empower others to do the same. Therefore, this is the legacy I wish to pass on to the world. Be Peace!
What will your legacy be?
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com