Aging Like a Guru - Who Me?

"I'm Not Giving Up What I Have for What I Want" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #120

I'm Not Giving Up What I Have for What I Want

 

So many people in the world - especially in the U.S., sacrifice their health and well-being for financial security, stability, and identity. One person in particular - Suzie, is having major health challenges. Despite all of the medical and alternative health practitioners that she has seen, nothing is helping her heal.

What Suzie wants from our coaching sessions is to get healthy. 

Suzie's work-life balance is currently 80/20. In our coaching conversation, her body reveals to her that if would like no less than 70/30. Though this may not seem like much of a shift, Suzie felt a level of peace and relaxation she hasn't experienced in years.

So what is Suzie willing to shift in order to have this level of peace and relaxation, and health?

Guess what? Nothing! She doesn't want to give up what she has for what she wants. Her health and well-being are taking a backseat to her career. She is in a dilemma! How will she choose to choose?

 ***

Many of us want what we want, and we don’t want to give up what we have. Listen in to hear how Suzie faced the dilemma!

 

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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

"I Have No Time for Serenity" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #119

"I Have No Time for Serenity...As If I’ve Got Something Better to Do”

In a few minutes I have a meeting. I want my day to start as I usually start my day with reading and being contemplative - feeling into serenity so that I'm in it all day long.

However, in this particular morning, there isn’t time for serenity. I have to make preparations for this meeting. “Oh, I’ll just do a couple of these things on my list, that should be fine, then I’ll get back to my serenity.” I grumped my way through each task and ended up doing all of them, not feeling serene or happy that I'm fully prepared for my meeting.

I’m noticing how I grump my way through a lot of my life tasks, as if I’ve got something better to do. Whether I’m brushing my teeth, weedwacking the back yard, preparing a podcast, there’s a voice inside saying, “Hurry up! We’ve got more other important things to do than this!"

With this new podcast series, seasonal things to take care of, clients and other aspects of life to attend to, I find myself in a state of angst more often than not. It is a state that is 180 degrees from serenity and peace. I know this place well - the state of angst. I thought I had it licked. But by the very nature of adding more items to my plate, the thought, “I’ve got to get this all done asap,” wreaks havoc with serenity? What's up with that?!

I wonder how many people say to themselves, “I can’t wait to retire so I can lay back and relax. I can live without the nagging obligations, and once and for all experience the tranquility and peace I truly desire.”

I shared this inner dialog with some friends of mine who are retired and are in their 70’s. They shared my sentiments of always anticipating what needs to be done - or even what they want to get done, and the grumpiness that is prevalent regardless of what they are doing. And, they added that they know so many people who are retired that aren’t doing the things they want to do - in fact so many people that don’t know what it is they want to do, and so they grump their way through everyday tasks. They believe that someday they will be doing what they want to do. Until then, they will just have to grump.

Truthfully, it’s not the doing of things that is the problem; it’s the thoughts that underlie how we do what we do. And, over decades we have trained ourselves to live in the angst of so much to do - so little time. Unless we attend to this addictive pattern we developed and see it's not the busyness that leads us to angst, but the way we live with the busyness.

Every recovery program, regardless of whether its for substance abuse, workaholics, codependency, or Adult Children, the 12 steps and the Serenity Prayer are seen as foundational to recovery. And, at the same time, when I hear people speak the 12 steps or the Serenity Prayer, it is usually in the manner of a droning, as if saying the Pledge of Allegiance - there’s no connection or passion with the words being said.

It’s as if they haven’t yet had the direct experience of serenity. It’s as if they have not allowed themselves the moment of seeing what they are powerless over, and where they can courageously choose to empower themselves to change the things they can. It’s as if they’ve never allowed themselves to know of the wisdom the resides within - their inner guru, if you will. So they feel trapped in feeling powerless over their state of angst.

Restless Irritable Discontent (RID)

In the AA Big Book, there is a phrase that basically says that the cause of all of our addictions is restless, irritable discontent. When I heard this I knew without a doubt that this was true. It was an epiphany for me personally and allowed me to begin to notice when I’m in a state of RID, and what addictive patterns I use to reduce the RID. This was one of the many beginnings to recovering and reclaiming serenity in my life.

But what is the source of our restless, irritable discontent? My experience personally and professionally is that the source more often than not is a thought and belief that says something like, “I should be different than what I am. That if I were different I would feel at peace, I would know what to do - always, and I would do the right thing at the right time, and I’d never make mistakes. I would never hurt anyone and I’d be safe from bad things happening to me.” Well, that seems pretty hopeless, doesn’t it?!

In some ways, most of us are addicted to living in RID. Few of us truly know the experience of serenity, and fewer of us still live there most of our lives. That, in fact, is what has me currently be in my grumpiness. It’s as though I fell off the wagon of serenity and didn’t even realize that it happened. It’s as though I’ve returned to bingeing again on overwhelm, stress, and worry that I can’t get everything done on time. 

My biggest fear when thinking about being more active with Podcasts and such is that I’d have more to do and I’d have less time in serenity and peace. And here I am, in the midst of what I feared most, which leads me to grump my way from one activity to the next.

Yesterday I had a session with my coach, and through that time with her I recovered some of my sanity and some ability to see that I’d forgotten that I can empower myself to let go of what I can’t change and can’t fix, and can’t make happen on demand. That was a relief. And, this morning the Serenity Prayer popped in, and it was as if a light went on. “Oh yeah. I lost my serenity. I know how to find it and bring it home again.” And, that’s what I did!

So many aspects of what we call "aging" creates restless, irritable discontent. We feel powerless and hopeless, and grumpiness is an undercurrent of our lives. It’s as though we should have a 12-step program for aging (Aging Anonymous) that allows us to reclaim who we are and to recover our natural state of being - Peace and Serene. 

As we age like gurus, we have the capacity to create that space of serenity and peace. I find that doing so transforms my state of being so that, whatever I’m doing, I’m content - not grumping through my life. I have no doubt that we are never too old to learn to make time for serenity.

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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

 

 

"Stop Working So Hard at Trying" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #118

Stop Working So Hard at Trying

This morning I had the delight to hang with my friend Joy for an hour. Joy is a joy-bunny. Her work on Earth is to play and create. She would be on the cover of my book  Playing Like a Guru if I were to ever write that book. Joy is light, beauty, exuberance, and love, all wrapped up into one being.

However, all that Joy is - light, beauty, exuberant, and love, lives within the armor of should, shouldn’t, worries and constraints. She has the wings of a butterfly, yet is encased in a metal chrysalis.

At the magnificent age of 67, Joy is ready for what’s next. She has been working in the same job for 4 years, and she is ready for what’s next. She is planning, or attempting to plan, where she will go from here.

Joy did a timeline of all her jobs and careers. She shares that what was most fun was that which came without planning. When she just allowed herself to not try so hard, amazing adventures showed up. Not adventures like canoeing down the Amazon River, or doing some expedition in Africa. I mean the unfolding of the unexpected.

*** 

A client of mine, Garret, who is in his 50’s, shared a similar theme a few months back. Garret is this beautiful being that feels pressure from the world to be something he isn’t. He worries that if he isn’t doing what he is "supposed to do," then he will end upon the streets. He has another 10 years before he retires from a job that drains his entire being. And, as much as he wants to leave this job and do something that nourish his soul, he is scared!

***

Another one of my very favorite people on the planet, Mandy, is slowly extricating herself from what she is afraid to lose: safety, security and stability. Like Joy and Garret, Mandy loves to be immersed in joy, beauty, and fun. And like Joy, and Garret, Mandy judges herself as foolish and frivolous to think she can have a life that isn’t constrained by the principle of "work hard and you will be rewarded."

Several years back I wrote a book called The Unholy Path of a Reluctant Adventures. It’s autobiographical in nature. As I was writing this book I saw the specific times that I was called to specific actions, people, and places. Like moving to the Province of Nova Scotia and leaving my job as a therapist to sail around the world. Then, doing a Ph.D in Transpersonal Psychology, studying Spiritual Guidance, then coaching, then moving to Orcas Island.

I saw that the times that I followed the calling, where my intuition so strongly led me towards a road less traveled - that’s where my life filled with joy, love, beauty, exuberance and prosperity! I have no regrets in following these callings.

I also listed those specific times where I made the choice to take action, and didn’t listen to my intuition. When I didn’t listen to my intuition and made choices that didn’t necessarily include any sense of Divine Intervention, the outcome did not provide me with joy, love, beauty, exuberance nor prosperity. In essence, in those moments I followed the "shoulds" of our consensus reality. It was a choice made from a logical, mental orientation. And the bottom line of that story was: “WHAT WAS I THINKING?” Even though some very beautiful beings were created by following my logical thinking - my children, I had huge regrets!

At the end of the book, I made a list of all the times I followed my heart, my intuition, my calling. And, I made a list of all the times I followed my head, my logical, rational, side of me strategizing to get what I thought I wanted and needed. Guess which list I want to add to, till the day I die?

It’s Never Too Late to Dream Big

So this morning, Joy reports that she made a list of all the jobs and careers she’s had in her life, trying to figure out where to go next. I asked, “What if what you are to do has nothing to do with careers and jobs? What if what’s yours do to doesn’t fit into the normal reality of life?” You see, Joy is always trying to fit in, even though the truth is she isn’t meant to fit in! Truthfully, I believe we are never meant to fit in. We are meant to listen for that which will guide us into being the fullest expression of our essential nature. No one else has ever, ever, ever done what we have come here to do. So, truthfully, we are never meant to fit in. Not one of us!

In my most favorite book ever, Oneness by Rasha, Chapter 31, the notion of the innocence of the dreamer is hammered home to my being. I’d say to my brain, but that isn’t where my dreamer exists.

Chapter 31 talks about how we as children dream with full potentiality, until we begin to put limitations and parameters on what is "reasonable" to dream.

Then we live into the dreams of what we think is possible, putting all sorts of limitations on what is possible. “I’m too young, I’m too old, I’m a woman, I’m Gay, I’m uneducated, I have children, I’m lazy, I procrastinate, I haven’t any money...."

Over the years I’ve been training myself to let go of limiting my dreams by what I perceive as real. I’m training myself to return to the innocent dreamer who has not one single constraint in the way of realizing who I am in my fullest potential. This is the arena within which I’m working really hard. I put in a lot of discipline because I’m committed to learning how to live beyond the constraints of what I thought was reality. 

Joy, Garret, and Mandy are on that path too. Even though they are living in different decades of life, each is training themselves to listen for their heart’s desire. They are training themselves to feel into the resonance of their intuition. They each have experienced Callings in their lives, and have followed those callings. But to make a career out of living that way feels daunting; yet it is where their truth lies. They know that. And, they are still unsure if they can choose this way of life, one day at a time.

Joy’s mom, age 91, when asked if she was done dreaming, exclaimed, “Hell No! There are so many things I dream of doing. I would love to go back to school - there’s so much more to learn.”

Regardless of our age, each of us has the capacity to dream, to dream without limitations, and to perhaps incrementally take steps to bring those dreams into fruition. There is no age limit. We just have to be willing to stop working so hard at trying.

The trying comes from our attachment to being safe, secure, and stable every moment of our lives. Trying means that we are attached to knowing how things will turn out before we even begin. Trying is lying, as a very wise person once told me. 

When I’m trying, I’m lying to myself regarding the degree to which I want to truly live into love, beauty, exuberance, play, and prosperity. And, so I continually attend to when I’m working hard at trying, and I then return to training myself to let go of what I’m afraid to lose. (By the way, Yoda said this in Star Wars.)

When we stop working so hard at trying, something else shows up. This doesn’t mean that what shows up isn’t going to challenge us. It means that the adventure that arises is met with a little more openness, a little more curiosity, and a little more courage to maybe think or dream differently.

I say take advantage of every moment we have on Earth. For me, there is so much to be curious about. This is a very fascinating place to be, if we just stop working so hard at trying!

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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

"Letting Go of What for What?" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #117

Letting Go of What for What?

Self-help materials all encourage people to let go of patterns, habits, and behaviors that aren’t getting them the results they want: more happiness, health, wealth, love. We hear it all the time: “just let go and good things will come to you!”

When it comes to aging, the conversation is no different. We are continually barraged with ads and infomercials that tell us we have to let go of the ways we’ve been doing things, and we have to do them differently: eat right, exercise, meditate, be more social, develop healthy habits, take supplements, and so much more.

My solution? Well, my friend Nicole and I are creating a retreat, bringing women of all ages together to immerse themselves in “Aging Like Nobody's Business.”

Nicole is in her 50’s and going through menopause. She said something really important regarding aging, menopause, and the shifts that are happening for her. She said, “The hardest part of this process is wrapping my head around who I no longer am and who I’m afraid I’m becoming.” I love this. I see this to be one of the fundamental practices of aging like a guru. In essence - let go of who you were so you can embrace who you are becoming.

For the first half of our lives we long to grow up and develop into our potential. Then there is that moment where what seemed to be only growing potential is now a steady decline - the bloom is off the rose. Where there was excitement, now there is anxiety, depression, fear, and grief. Or not!

My client Carolyn, who is 67, shared today that she is almost paralyzed by the anxiety that arises when she thinks that someday she will die. She wanted coaching today around the inevitability of dying. Yep, in Life coaching, we focus on every aspect of Life up to the very last nano-second!

THE BIG FAT BE WITH 

In the coaching world we have a saying: “That’s a big fat be with!” There are so many aspects of life, so many circumstances that we have no control over - in essence this is a big fat be with. We are immersed in life’s dramas, with no way out, no healing, no solutions, no miracles. It appears that we have to let go of the ideals, the dreams, the hopes and wishes that we are going to be saved from ourselves and from our circumstances. But letting go is just another big fat be with.

Letting go requires a leap of faith from where you are now in your beliefs and fears, to somewhere else. That leap of faith requires faith in something that you haven’t yet allowed to be true, present and real for you - a platform or foundation strong enough to hold you when you leap.

A good example is Carla who is 75 and a hoarder. She has been warned many, many times that she will be evicted because her apartment is a fire hazard. Yet she can’t let go of her stuff, and so she may end up on the streets. Carla doesn’t have faith that by letting go of the boxes upon boxes of memories, there will be something better for her. Her faith is in her belief that she won’t be evicted. 

No faith - no letting go! 

We have faith in so many aspects of reality. We have faith in banks, in our families, in the people who hired us, in our 401K. We have faith that the foods we eat will keep us nourished - even though research says the opposite. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, we put a great deal of faith in our beliefs rather than in our intelligence. We even put faith in war, though we all talk about wanting peace. 

So coming back to letting go . . . it’s all about discerning what it is you are really letting go of, in service to what you will be open to receive.

. . .

Going to the circus as a child I was mesmerized by the trapeze artists. The person would grab onto the trapeze, swing out over a large expansive abyss, or so it seemed, and just at the right moment they would let go, knowing that they would be caught by a person on the other trapeze. They let go because they trusted they would be caught. 

When I imagine myself up there on a trapeze, I see myself inevitably letting go because otherwise I’ll be swinging on that one trapeze for ever. Maybe that’s all I want. And at various times in my life, that is all I wanted - the safety and security of the known. But then when I realized that I wasn’t fulfilled, I wasn’t having fun, and I wasn’t feeling as though I was living in my greatest potential, I decided to look and to see that others who have leaped before me, were surprised and amazed with what happened because they took that leap. If they could do it I figured I could do it too! 

. . .

Many years ago, I had a dream that I was in an 8x8 ft room on top of a fortress that went on for eternity! My choice in the dream was to either stay in this room for eternity, or to jump and fall for eternity.

That dream has been with me as a teacher, because it is so rich with possibility. You see, if I envision myself as imprisoned inside this 8x8 room, I’m not free to experience the full potential of such an environment. However, if I shift the way I’m interpreting this room, from prison to something else, and let go of the perception that I'm limited by my circumstances, then I am free to experience bliss, curiosity and empowerment within my choice to stay.

Looking at the other option, if I envision myself leaping out of the window of this structure and falling for eternity, then I perceive that I will be in a constant state of fear and terror. Again, if I shift how I’m perceiving this situation from falling with no end, to perhaps being in the potentiality of sprouting wings, or riding the currents, or having fun learning how to fall in a gazillian different ways, then bliss, creativity, fearlessness and awe are available to me.

The point of all of this is that in order to let go of what we are afraid to lose, we have to have something as good or better to step towards. And we only have to have enough faith to take us to the next step on the journey.

So many people I know won’t take action on a particular problem because they can’t see the end result as positive, so they do nothing. I totally get that, and at the same time, to let go of the belief that you have to know the end results opens up possibilities that are beyond imagination.

As we age we are confronted with so many issues that, if taken at face value, could crush our human spirit. Essentially, as Nicole shared - it is really hard to wrap our heads around who we no longer are and who we are becoming. This be-with is a constant throughout our human lives. And to allow ourselves only one simple yet profound question, "who am I inside all the changes, inside all the declines, inside all the endings?" To ask, “Who am I?” liberates us to choose in ways that may not yet allow letting go to happen.

There are no answers. There are no "3 Ways to Let Go of What You Are Afraid to Lose." Each of us have to come to these ways of letting go for ourselves. Having a thinking partner, such as a life coach can be really helpful. I totally trust that you will find your way to being you in your fullest potential as you learn to let go.

Enjoy the adventure of being you!

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For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website:  www.theparadigmshifts.com 

Dying - What Choice Do I Have? Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #116

Dying - What Choice to I Have? 

 

"The Person Who Dies With the Most Toys Wins!" ~anonymous

 

When you read a book, especially a novel, and you’ve stayed attentive and engaged to the very end, you want that last sentence to stay with you forever! A great writer might even craft the whole book around the very essence of this exquisite, rapturous moment. 

Each of us are crafting our lives consciously, and to some degree unconsciously. Throughout our days, years, and decades we create an undercurrent of ideas of where we are headed. We may be entrenched in circumstances beyond our control, where uncertainty undermines our courage. At other times we feel as if we are experiencing Heaven on Earth, when life couldn’t get any sweeter. All along the way we are writing the ending to our story.

A few years ago, I was going through some really deep work. It was one of those moments where I prayed to God that I would fall asleep and not wake up. As challenging as this time was with despair and desperation, so much wisdom came to me too. There was no escaping the process so I figured I might as well stay in it. 

This one night, I asked myself, “Since I can’t control when I die or how I die, I choose to control the experience I want to have while I die. So, what is the quality of the experience I want to have in that last final moment?” 

The response seemed to come easily from somewhere outside myself: “I want to die with love in my heart.” “Wow! That’s a nice answer.” (I talk to myself a lot, especially when immersed in these deep dark sessions.)

I then became curious about what it would be like to die with love in my heart. What would that be like to hold every person I know in complete and utter love? And so I began to imagine loving people who don’t necessarily love me, and those who are really hard to love, and those who love me for who I am. It was as though I began to write the final moments of my novel - my life.

Since then, like most of us, I often find myself revisiting thoughts about dying, how afraid I am of suffering, of dying alone, or dying terrified of the uncertainty of the end. And I remember that I can’t control any of that, so I can once again bring my focus on dying with love in my heart. This practice always brings me peace, because I have certainty that when that final moment comes, I’ll have practiced the steps to experience the exquisite fulfillment of love into my heart. Cool, right?

 

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To see more blogs, books and videos from Dr. Rosie, or to sign up for coaching, explore her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

 

"David Bennett Interviewed" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #115

David Bennett Interviewed

David Bennett experienced numerous spiritually transformative events including a near death event that changed his life - as you can imagine. David experienced being immersed in an ocean of light, meeting his soul family, and receiving a life review, before getting kicked back into his human body. David tells his story in Voyage of Purpose: Spiritual Wisdom from Near-Death back to Life - one of my all-time favorite reads!

David and I have been friends for many years. I thought, "What better person to talk about aging than someone who has, in essence, been to Heaven and back?" 

How does David experience aging from the perspective of his spiritually transformative experience? Listen to this episode to find out! 

This podcast is about 17 minutes - because we had so much to say about aging like a guru!

 

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For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com 

 

 

"Aging Isn't About Aging - What?" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #114

Aging Isn't About Aging - What?

"Be yourself - everyone else is already taken," . . . ever hear that quote before?

In the previous podcast I mentioned David Bennett and Cindy Griffith-Bennett and their book Voyage of Purpose. I’m on my third read of this book. The stories of David’s Near Death Experience and the unfolding processes he grew through over the years always awakens something in me that I hadn’t heard in the previous read. I find that there are some books that stay on my bookshelf - the ones nearest to my attention, so I can continue to pull the wisdom to me over and over again. Voyage of Purpose is one of those books for me.

In Voyage of Purpose, David quotes Joseph Campbell. “Where there is a way or a path, it’s someone else’s way.... I have a theory that if you are on your own path things are going to come to you. Since it’s your own path, and no one has ever been on it before, there is no precedent, so everything that happens is a surprise and is timely.” (Campbell, 1991)

If you are open to considering the truth of these words, or if you know this to be true, and you practicing living into this, I believe this is where miracles happen. I know it is for me.

I titled this Podcast Aging Isn’t About Aging - What?. Aging, like any other context or life is about letting go of what others have said and done before you. It requires thinking for yourself and deferring to no one else.

Anita Moorjani, David Bennett and thousands of individuals who experienced Spiritually Transformative Experiences, which include Near Death Experiences, share that life on Earth is a unique experience for each of us. We are here to discover our own unique path - that road less traveled, as Scott Peck writes about.

I’ve taken the road less traveled myself, and as challenging as it has been, the surprises that are for me, and are mine alone, are so worth it!

If we look at aging from the perspective of our consensus reality, we see the path well worn and littered with beliefs and judgements focused on the inevitable dependency on the medical, insurance and pharmaceutical support - ‘till death do us part.’ This is a path that most of us will walk - because we are told this is the only path there is. So many of us are afraid to stray from this path, and so we limit our awareness and our choice-making to only this.

A long time Orcas Islander, Emily, who lived to be close to 100, shared with her friend Barbara, “Don’t ever take the path of pharmaceuticals - it will kill you!” I was fascinated by this statement and so appreciated Emily’s clarity and conviction. Emily walked her own path in so many ways. Her life was full of joy, love and wonder up to her passing.

In the AA tradition, I would say “I want what she’s got!”

I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks - probably since I began working on these podcasts. This should be really fun and easy, and it is fun and easy. And at the same time it’s really challenging. I’ve been struggling with a sense of loss, a sense of grief and emptiness. It’s not a happy feeling. It makes me just want to lie done and ignore life.

In reading Joseph Campbell’s words - “Where there is a way or a path, it’s someone else’s way....” I realized that this is what is occurring for me. I’m beginning, again, to walk a path that is mine alone. That although there are lots of podcasters in the world, lots of information about aging on the internet, lots of do’s and don’t of how to age, I’m compelled to walk the path that is mine alone.

The way I coach, the way I live, the choices I make, is almost always self-directed, in alignment with something other than consensus reality. At the same time, I’m always wanting to do it like other people do. I want to be like everyone else, having a sense of belonging that my less than wise-self believes is true. I walked on the “tried and true” path for decades and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. What’s the point of being in my skin if I’m never feeling happy in here?!

I don’t know about you, but the magnetic pull of my intuition, which always feels like inspiration and like I’m being guided by my highest-self - my highest-truth, has me taking steps on my own path. Sometimes it feels really uncomfortable. It is full of uncertainty and self-doubt, the fear of aloneness and inevitably I’ll die! I question whether I’m really hearing correctly, and maybe I’m making it all up. It is a dilemma! Inevitably, I experience those timely surprises and confirms I’m on the track with my own path. Over time, it become easier, and my happiness grows exponentially! 

Here’s the deal - it’s scary to choose to follow the tried and true of our consensus reality. And it is scary to choose to walk your own path. Either way it is scary. Either way you are presented with life choices that reveal that you are at the crossroads of your awakening into self-empowerment.

So aging isn’t about aging. It is about standing in your truth, standing in your knowing, standing in your courage, standing on your path being scared and alone - sometimes, but knowing that you are given the potentiality to live a life that is unprecedented. Being extraordinary, because you are! And you are never alone!

I’m grateful that over the years my inner guru continually speaks to me in a way that I can hear. Even though I live alone with my dog Gracie, I can share with you that there is more conversation going on between me and my inner guru than if I was living with someone else. I’ve experienced more loneliness when living with others that I do living alone with Gracie and my inner guide.

So that’s it! I encourage you to be curious about how often you think about taking alternative and less worn paths, but hold back from making that choice for fear of....

There’s nothing to do differently. There’s no choices to make. Just noticing how you be in your everyday crossroads, how you choose what you choose will be a big enough adventure for you, until you are ready for more ease, more surprises, and more alignment with your inner-guru.

And, you are never alone!

 

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For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

 

For Voyage of Purpose by David Bennet and Cindy Griffith-Bennett, click here!

 

 

 

 

"Resonance is the Sweet Spot of Aging Gracefully" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #113

Resonance is the Sweet Spot of Aging Gracefully

What are you listening for? Where are you listening From?

For those of you listening to this podcast or those I’ve previously broadcast, I suspect that you were attracted to something that resonated with you. Something engaged your curious mind. Something engaged a knowing, a familiarity, a resonance with a part of you that is looking for confirmation, looking for connection, that knows of your inner guru, or perhaps desires to experience collaboration, union, and harmony as much with another as with yourself.

The intention of these podcasts Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? is to deepen the listening that occurs within you, so that you more willingly tune into your own personal guru channel. 

Each of us has a listening for something. We tune in to music channels and people talking channels because we are looking to sit for a few moments in the resonance of a familiar tone, a familiar languaging, a familiar message. When we tune into a channel to learn something new, quite often unless what is being taught resonances with you on some level, you won’t take that specific learning on as yours.

It’s a funny thing that throughout our childhood, we are taught that learning occurs only in the brain. The truth is, and I learned this only while working on my 3rd Masters Degree and Ph.D., that only when we’ve had a direct experience - a resonance with what is being taught - can we truly integrate that information into our system. Direct experience occurs in our bodies, through our bodies, through a knowing that resides in every cell, in the meta physical levels of life.

The Learning Pyramid reflects studies that show that you will generally retain only 5% from what you are listening to, and only 10% of what you read. And, we retain 75%  of what we learn by practicing and doing, and we retain 90% by teaching others. I think this is really great information, because it reflects a truth not only about how we learn in an educational environment, but also how we learn to be in life too! We have certain patterns we follow and resonate with, and that’s how we do life.

My friend David Bennett wrote a book called Voyage of Purpose. In Voyage of Purpose David wrote about his near-death experiences and the learning and practice that evolved because of these experiences. I go back to David’s book over and over again because so much of what he is saying resonates with me. His relaxed story-telling style of writing invites me into his life. The story that he tells engages my desire to have a vicarious experience of what he is sharing. I don’t want to have the near-death experience, but I do long for the level of light and love that he experienced, and for the learning that occurred for him. Furthermore, his teachings inspire me to engage a greater degree of devotion and dedication to my relationship with my spirit-self, my inner guru.

As I wisen up and listen to my inner guru, I choose more carefully who I hang out with in all areas of my life. If the resonance doesnt jive with my well-being, I’ll pick up and head to a more peaceful place, or a place that allows me to experience me - being myself.

Why am I telling you this?

I’m telling you this to acknowledge - as much for myself as for you, that you are listening for a resonance of being that allows you to feel into yourself, into your truest nature. You are listening for a resonance of truth - not my truth, but a truth that rings true for you. You are listening for an experience that creates an Ah-Ha moment, within which you find yourself breathing more deeply than you have for a while.

As you listen for something that resonates for you, you are also listening from a place in you that desires recognition, confirmation, and a clarity of knowing that wishes to say, “HELL YES! I Knew That All Along!!!” 

As we go forward, one foot in front of the other, progressing through this human process called aging, we have the opportunity to listen for and look for the resonance of that Hell Yes. We have a gazillion opportunities to practice living into every moment as a “Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep!!! That place within us, the place from which we listen, delights when we experience the resonance of our personal truth. It is a wonderful moment of harmony and union.

Now, I know that you may not stick around for more podcasts on Aging Like a Guru - Who Me?, if there isn’t a resonance. My words may match what rings true for you. Your “Hell Yes” resides somewhere else. That’s a good thing to know! I only ask that you keep being open to what you are listening for.

The best part about aging is that I can declare for myself what is true for me, much more often than I used to. And, I no longer defer to anyone else what I know to be true! I want that for everyone. It’s the best feeling in the world!

 

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For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

 

For Voyage of Purpose by David Bennet and Cindy Griffith-Bennett, click here!

 

For the Learning Pyramid, click here!

 

"Dropping Your Identity of Hope" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #112

Dropping Your Identity of Hope

Today, I was imagining what it's like to be me with no hope attached to what I do or don’t do. What an interesting moment.

I realized the degree to which so much of who I’ve been being and what I’ve been doing has been related to hoping that the outcome would be in my favor. Having lived in hope for so long, I can tell you it hasn’t been a fun and easy ride. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone!

I grew up in a large Catholic family, my dad was a doctor, we belonged to the Country Club, and I was considered the beautiful one in the family. I trained myself to create an identity that would be appealing and not be off-putting to anyone. I wanted to ensure my safety, security, and the belief that I was worthy of love and protection.

As young children, most of us don’t know who the heck we are inside our little Earth suits. We watch what others are doing, emulate some and do the opposite of others. We train ourselves to be who it is safe to be, and we train ourselves to be what we believe will keep us safe, secure and protected. We live in hope that we are enough. Enough what? 

Am I worthy of my own expression? 

Few of us live in families that encourage the fullest expression of who we are naturally.  Instead we learn to compensate for our lacks, our unworthiness, our unlovableness, our undeservingness - hoping that we can pull off some role or identity that will, like I said already, keep us safe, secure and protected.

A client of mine, Michael, turned 51 not so long ago. Michael is a recovering addict. More than recovering from substance abuse, Michael is recovering himself from a life of physical violence and emotional neglect and abuse. Yuck!

Michael took on an identity of a tough guy in hopes of safety, protection and security. He was a member of gangs, and hurt people badly. He also did really stupid acts, in part, he admits, to maybe kill himself, and partly to show off. Because Michael was hurting so bad inside, he hoped that by taking on this identity as a tough guy, he would be respected, appreciated, and belong. It didn’t work.

Now Michael is on this side of 50! And, our work together has been a process of reclaiming the abused child, the angry teenager, and the adult looking for love in all the wrong places.

Michael is letting go of these identities of hope, and it scares the pants off of him. And though it’s scary, Michael is discovering his true self. He is slowly integrating this true self into his everyday life. And, in doing so, to his surprise, he is being embraced by people who see him in his beautiful self, in his loving, playful expressions, and in his heartfelt presence. More importantly, he is appreciating who is inside all of the hoping, all the acting, all the roles he hoped would bring him love and safety, but didn’t. He is discovering compassion for himself. “How strange!” he quips!!

One last thing about Michael. He realizes that 98% of his life has been spent doing things for the wrong reasons. As he lets go of his identities of hope, he is having a lot more fun just being himself.

As we age, no matter our age, we have moments when we realize that all the things we’ve done, all the ways we’ve been acting and being, hasn’t kept us safe from certain realities of humanness. Fame, fortune, intelligence, athleticism, power, sex-appeal-- none of it keeps us from experiencing the inevitability of discovering that no matter what we do, we cannot escape ourselves. This quite often is the moment that a midlife crisis begins - a crisis of faith. This the bad news and the good news.

The longer we are on the planet, the more time we have to discover the fullest potential of being who we are. The crisis of realizing that hoping isn’t useful at all in providing us safety, security and protection, is the beginning of a very empowering adventure. FUN!!!!

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For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

"Who's Your Savior?!" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn Podcast #111

Who's Your Savior?!

Everyday we put our faith in many, many people, organizations, and things such as banks, our employers, our families, our doctors, our cars, insurance company.... The list goes on and on! My question for you today is, "What's the degree to which you put your faith in you? How safe do you feel making choices that impact on your health and wellbeing as you age?" Here are some thoughts about that!

For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

Heal - The Documentary can be found at: Netflix

Anita Moorjani's book What If This Is Heaven? Can be found here!